Tuesday, 3 March 2009

~Getting Real?~


Some of you may have noticed that Carla has been busy 'reducing her cyber-footprint' of late.

I have to admit that it's got me pondering the pros and cons of my 'cyber-life'. Both as it is at the moment and how it's been over the 5 years during which I've had various profiles on different sites. The main one (obviously) being The Lone Groover here and at the old Journalspace.

I think it's easy for blogging/facebooking/MySpacing/YMing/MSNing, or whatever flavour you choose, to slowly take over your life without your realising it. It certainly has done in my case.

In some ways, I'm grateful for the time I've spent on-line.

In other ways, I curse the day I ever bought a bloody PC.

I hate the way that it brings out the worst in me sometimes, as it has done this very morning.

I've just become so very, very weary of it.

It's simply not worth it anymore.


I've had several people tell me over the last couple of years that I "have it all".

They see me as driving from gym to gym, doing personal training sessions, massage sessions and teaching classes.

They see me as being able to come and go as I please, with no-one waiting at home with the proverbial rolling pin to give me the 3rd degree over where I've been or why I've been working so late.

Those things may be true, but I'm far from 'having it all'.

I've lost count of how many times I've walked into my empty flat at the end of the day, then turned right around again and gone to my local ASDA, just to be around other people. How sad is that?!?!?

There are some distinct advantages of living alone, in many ways it's bloody marvelous, but there are times (too many times) when it's just too quiet and lonely for comfort.

Yes, I have a (very) small group of friends and family who'll take pity on me occasionally and invite me out, but on the whole, I don't do a great deal socially.

To some degree, my work is a little like having a paid social life. After all, the gym is leisure time for most people and it DOES rub off on you, but it's not the same as a social life.

It's still my job at the end of the day.

I need to work on it.

TODAY'S MOOD: Pondering.

SOUNDTRACK: Faith No More - 'I Started A Joke'

FOOTNOTE: I was supposed to be going to the gym early this morning, oh well.....

The Lone Groover


  1. hey! you have my life - apart from the fact that you know what the inside of a gym looks like, we have the same life!!!

  2. No life is perfect. There are ups and downs for all of us.
    My friends say I have a wonderful life now, but the path I had to travel was harsh to say the least. Now that the emotional side is well cared for my physical side is deteriorating at a frightening rate of knots. Once lonely and fit, now happy and using a walking stick.

    What would you or anyone choose IF you had the choice?
    Hang in there Mr Groover, you are well liked by many.

  3. Mr. Groover, it's been my experience that no one has it all. Not Bill Gates, not Tiger Woods, not Oprah.

    No matter who we are or what our social standing is, there's always something missing, something that needs to be improved upon.

    I can tell you, my friend, I have a pretty good life. Materially, I really want for nothing. However, I do not have true love or passion in my life, nor do I have even one single friend in the real world. All of my friends are here in this cyber-universe.

    I have a Facebook account and I have 15 friends total. I've posted pictures and made comments on my wall and I never get any feedback or comments. I'm there, people see me, but it's like being at a party, but no one cares. So, I stand in the corner and watch everyone else mingle and chat, while at the same time I am ignored. Loneliness has always been my constant companion.

    That being said, I understand your feelings and frustration. You seem a good, kind and worthy soul, so all I can think to say is to keep going after your dreams, be patient and good things will come your way. You deserve your happiness as much as anyone else on this rock.

    My respects to you, sir.

  4. Nobody has the perfect life. When people are alone, they want companionship. When people have many friends/family, they was more alone time. From reading you for however long it's been, I get the feeling that you are very intelligent, and just have the same wants/needs as 99% of the other people around you. You have to make a serious effort for a better social life. I shouldn't be saying this, as I need to have more of a social life myself, and am not making the effort as much as I should. Hope things work out for you. Hugs.

  5. This is my only footprint. The 3d life is okay but is no substitute for the real thing.


  6. I understand full well getting too into the cyber world... look how much time I spend here. For the same reasons as you, I have been considering cutting back (what? Westy cut back? never! haha). It does get to be a substitute for a lot of things... but I'd rather share things with all the good people I have gotten to know here, then associate with those jerks I know "out there".

  7. I never thought you had the perfect life. I always root for you though - hoping the work will come steady enough for travel a few times a year.
    I'll always be pulling for you guys.

  8. People think that what I do is so cool, and in many ways it is. But I'm not writing literature, I'm writing copy, and the person buying it from me buys the copyright to it, too. Which is fine, because I wouldn't be all that thrilled about having my name attached to 18 articles about colon cleansing herbs. There will always be trade-offs. At the moment I'm just happy to have some semblance of a job.

  9. I had the same problem with giving far too much time to the internet. Before that, it was watching too much tv. I've gotten both of them down to a small portion of my daily activities. I love the internet - but I've just got too much other stuff to get done to justify spending hours and hours on it, unless I'm doing something online such as paying bills or researching something.

  10. The internet although it has it bad and good things it helps you to communicate instantly with others when you do get lonely, your able to see into others lives and what it just helps to kill the time until you can do something again like going to ASDA. Even if you are in a relationship it can still get lonely at times!

  11. I owe the internet a lot, especially the fact that I have you in my life. Unfortunately, there is a lot that I could have lived without. Right now I just don't have the desire to be all over the cyber world. I am working on a healthy balance since we live our relationship online, getting completely away from the internet isn't possible, and I don't think I would really want to.

    We have things to work on with us, both online and real world, the less distractions the better. Someday we will get everything somewhat in order. I know it.

    Love you! xxx

  12. I have what I wanted, my own place, but it is, as you say, a bit too quiet at times. I have my Saturday Toucan friends, and Tyler spends the weekends here, but if not for the fact that I spend hours on the phone and internet, I would be mostly a hermit after work.

    I like that version of the song better than the Bee Gees' original.

  13. That has been one of my favorite tunes since the BeeGees did it. This is a good cover. So many times lines from that song have gone through my head in solitary blue periods.
    You are a talented individual.
    I hope the balance that you seek comes to you.
    My time online has been cut drastically, even though I still write a lot here. I do little else and even let email go three or four days at a time before checking it.

  14. Hang in there my friend. All of us go thru stuff lke this from time to time.Personally Ive found that I learn most of lifes important lessons when Im feeling a little pensive or just plain feeling lousy.Here's to ya my good man hope tomorrow that the sun shines down on your backdoor.

  15. You are not totally alone- Your life sounds a lot like mine, especially the part about living alone and being lonely. I too, have friends and family that invite me out, but it never seems like it's enough. I hope that you are feeling better about things soon. And great pick of tunes...

  16. Maybe to some people you DO have it all. You probably have a lot of things that people envy. Take their perspective once in a while and try to enjoy yourself in the moment. :) Of course having your woman with you and sharing your life with you would probably be "it all" for you!

  17. The self reflection is a good and necessary thing for growth. Just do what you need to do for you. One day at a time. Noone else is living your life- except you and if the configuration feels wrong then do your ersonal gap analysis and change it. Maggs.