Tuesday, 10 March 2009

~Time For A Change Of Emphasis?~

Maggsworld left a comment on my ~Getting Real~ post a couple of screens down the page.

It went thus;

"The self reflection is a good and necessary thing for growth. Just do what you need to do for you. One day at a time. No-one else is living your life except you and if the configuration feels wrong then do your personal gap analysis and change it. Maggs."

Food for thought indeed......

My act of impetuity on Saturday was to drive up to Fleetwood in Lancashire and sit on the sea-front eating fish & chips whist gazing across the Irish Sea, pondering where I was, how I'd got here and where the hell I was going to. Eventually, I moved a few miles south to Blackpool, did more of the same, quaffed several pints of Guinness and stayed over in a B&B for the night.

I've always had a tendancy to put the feelings and needs of other people before my own. It's a hard habit to get out of. The trouble is, I've allowed it to permeate pretty much every aspect of my life, to the extent where I feel that I no longer have any real control of it.

I've always got someone else to put first, someone else who needs X or Y doing before I can do anything for myself.

Quite an acheivement for a separated guy who lives on his own!!

Yes, that includes clients sometimes too and yes, it's my own bloody fault for being such a soft touch and not setting proper boundaries.

"No-one else is living your life except you"

Maybe I ought to carve that on the back of my hand, as a constant reminder to myself?

TODAY'S MOOD: Introverted

SOUNDTRACK: Bobby Brown - 'On Our Own'

I guess we're going to have to take control.........

FOOTNOTE: I love Ghostbusters I and II....two of my favourite films, in fact :-)

The Needs-To-Think-Of-Number-One-More Groover


  1. Maggie always has such thought provoking comments. Wise lady, she is. Heed her advice. I may have to do that myself. YOU ARE #1!!! Hugs.

  2. Going through an introversion period myself, A. I hope your journey is, and ends up well.

    Great advice, Maggs!

  3. does it have something to do with spring being around the corner? I wrote a more "serious" entry myself yesterday...

    And yes, I also need to heed Maggs great advice.

  4. I know how it feels to bear everyone's burdens and put your own aside. The problem is, you never get around to taking care of yourself. If I ever figure out how to do this, I'll let you know. If you figure it out, I hope you'll let me in on it.

  5. Ok, honesty time.

    You could also just keep on ignoring yourself. I did.
    What is going on with me I would not wish on anyone.
    I pushed myself, for years. Pysically I am now paying the price. Take care of you. Please.

  6. I have not been to Fleetwood for years, I bet it has not changed one bit. Although I went to Blackpool, last year and it looked as though it had just been left to run down, although I think I am no longer seeing it through kids eyes but a parents!

  7. I think that introspection is a necessary thing every once in a while. It's good to benchmark your life at certain times, then readjust. Best of luck to you with implementing changes. I know it can be a real challenge. I'm rooting for you!

  8. "No-one else is living your life except you"

    Good point! I think I will tape this to the front of my work computer. I could use this reminder everyday!

  9. yano, at times I wish someone else was living my life for me. lol. I could use a break from it all.
    Seriously tho, we have little or big wake up calls all thru our life, its whether we heed them that matters. Don't change the part of you that cares about others, just learn to be a little more selfish and take something from life for you and you alone.

    Someone once said. Procrastination is like
    mastubation, feels good at the time, but in the end your only f***ing yourself.

    So dont procrastinate Mr Groover. Just do what you have to do for your soul.

  10. We have so many things in common, which is what brought us together.

    I understand your need to figure things out. I want nothing more for you than to be whole and happy.

    Do what you need to do.

    I am always behind you.


  11. Best of luck to you in working through things.


  12. I think being spontaneous is one of the only ways to keep life fresh, so that you don't lose what living is. I am glad you no longer feel as though you have to consider everybody else before your own feelings. That's no way to live.